The Strangest Christmas
anytime someone asked me what i want for christmas, i just tell them, “i want to skip christmas for one year, so that i can appreciate it next year and possibly look forward to it.”
ive been pretty depressed lately, not sure if it’s the winter blues (yes, i hate the f**king snow and the ice storms here!) or the fact that in order to maintain any sort of non-negative behavior at work it requires every damned cell in this peapod body of mine to put up a front and pretend all is good with the world. for the most part i have succeeded, but the little voice in the back of my mind is winning again, it whispers, “no amount of smiling, positive thoughts or hope will advance you further within this company, face it, you are stuck and no one even cares to indicate there is hope on the horizon, you have some choices to make, and time to make it sooner rather than later.“ of course the same voice swears at me and tells me to hang in there no matter what is thrown at me. so it shall be whispered, so it shall be done. but no, im not really hearing voices, i hear my own voice of reason, of miserableness, of happy happy, joy joy and of passion.
sigh, i miss my family terribly. this is the first christmas (and birthday..) that im away from home, family and friends. i miss our traditional christmas eve dinner and our traditional unwrapping of presents from the ninongs and ninangs, while eating leftovers on christmas morning. but instead of those, i found myself sleeping, getting up, showering and getting ready for hospital duty. yes, christmas this year for me was just another day at the lab, business continues as usual. but a busy christmas eve was not what i had expected. i was dead tired running labs back and forth. apparently, there’s a whole lot of drunken idiots out about that night wreaking havoc.
yeah yeah, i know, i bitch and whine constantly, and i actually do feel selfish saying how depressing it is, but no matter how depressing it is for me, i cant fathom how terrible it is to have my family and relatives worried over me. im sorry u guys… ill try to be more optimistic, i promise.
well, despite all of that, i still love giving gifts and christmas, for that matter, even though most of the time the people that get my gifts don’t remember that i got them things and heck even i usually don’t remember what i bought them last year. i just like buying things to make people happy.. hehehe.. hey, christmas is all about giving, after all. i know this is so cliche, but im an idealist, i dont give gifts expecting to get them in return (though ideally it is nice every once in a while..)
again, excuse the rantings of a disgruntled female. indeed, it’s a strangest of christmases. i do hope everyone who reads this has had a better one than mine. when mine does happen, ill let u know!
signing out for now.
p.s. thanks for all the bday greetings. appreciate it!
Belated Happy birthday! has it passed? Am I too late?
I remember spending 2 Xmases w/o my family. The first was horrible, the second bearable. But now they’ve come here to China on Xmas day and will leave on New Year’s so I’m one happy camper! Don’t worry Bev. It will get better with time. Actually, Xmas isn’t even celebrated her in China but having the family here is all that counts. Yes, that means people still work as usual on this very special occasion. No one gives a damn about it though except my students and staff in my college.
Here’s my present for ya. I’ve TAGGED you in a meme! Perhaps it’s your first time to experience one just like I did. Just click on this
link and you’ll get to know everything about it. The meme’s about telling us 6 things we don’t know about you.
I wish I had seen snow. We just got back from Beijing. Sub zero temp but not a single snowflake even though the lakes were frozen and all.
MERRY CHRISTMAS BEV!! Lol. Love the drunken idiots part. Give them a break. It’s Christmas! Tis the season to be drunk!
Sheila said this on December 28, 2008 at 8:35 am